You are living your story

A fellow asked, what style am i? That's a good questions. And to be very honest, i wouldn't know what to call myself. I'm a teenager, so i can't have a determined style. It's... bipolar? Same with my attitude and emotions. I think most of you understand. Alright, let's start from the beggining. Clothing! I used to be this, very hyper, positive and kind of sportsy girl. I live my life in jeans, and i loved sneakers. I loved tights, pants or trousers. That cool and calm style. Most call it sportsy. I usually call it simple. I don't like dresses that much or shorts. I think i don't have the thigs for that... i know that sounds girly and dumb but true. I have hips and it just doesn't... look that good.  Jeans, a nice shirt, some nice jacket and sneakers, that was me. :)  Mostly like the first picture. I had long hair, and i like my jeans to look nice. So yeah, that, simple look. Not too expensive or too fansy. :) That changed...

Alright, well....this is a really big concept.I'm sure most of you don't care what i like from music. But... i can like all of them. Beginning from classical music, to hard metal. Metal, rock, death metal, hard rock, soft rock, all of those aren't for all people. Not all people can stand to listen to that. I for one, can't listen to death metal. That's something that's like static in my ears. I don't understand it and the music is just not for me, it's not my style. Some types of metal yes. Some types of rock too. I don't really find the difference between, punk-rock and those kinds. I can't discern those. I am very difficult when it comes to this. I can like a deathmetal band, Asking Alexandria. But, i like only one song. "Not the American Average". Does that mean i don't listen to them or that i do? There are A LOT of bands that i just know, and i like just maybe a couple of songs. What does that stand for? Anyway, i...

I don't know why, but i love that guy. We almost never talk, we almost never even talked, but when we do,i'm happy. :) I know i meant my words from last year, that i'm always his friend. That's why i wanted to check on him. A thing happened and we both said very awful things, then and after. I know he probably wasn't the happiest with seeing me again but i didn't really care then. I just wanted to see how he was. I can't say i didn't miss him, i did, a lot. I know he didn't miss him me and i understand why. :) I wish i had a song to dedicate to him even thou we barely talk. He's always playing games! ^-^ Always was a full time gamer.  I remember him being excited for this game..."Halo"? s: Is it that..? I don't remember!... But i know he was excited for this game and wanted to just rant about it. He was being all, "I'm sorry, you probably don't care about me blabbing. ;c". I didn't mind, even thou i did...

Alright, after a few days someone told me i am against homosexuality even though that person obviously doesn't know her info, i started talking to some of my friends what they think. Here are some of their answers, or all in one; "Eww! It's a sickness! Illness! Whatever! It's sick to love the same kind of person!! They should just be burnt. It's sick! Nothing more to tell!". "Why do you think it's sick? What's sick in it?". "Hello?! You love and kiss your own...? You kiss a girl in the mouth? Or, ew! Guys!" "If GOD wanted people to love the same sex and to have people making love with the same sex, he would do it that way!!". So yeah. We're back to our GOD conversation. What the fuck does this have to do with God? Alright. God was there when the world started. God was there when fire was just discovered. God was there on the big flood.  God was there in IceAge. God was there when cave people starte...

I had a dream last night... it was wonderful! For awhile... Since i was in a very cheerful mood last night, i made my babii really happy and i was myself, i came home and my feet hurt and i just fell asleep. I had a beautiful dream about baby coming here in this hotel 'Moskva' that's about 10-15 minutes away from me by walking. :3 I know it was wonderful and very happy and full of laughs but i think i fell in the dream on the ice. We were hurrying i think, and i think i fell and that broke my dream. You know that feeling when you start dreaming your falling down really fast and it wakes you up? That was this. I wanted to finish the dream and i thought if i kept thinking of the ending it would continue itself. Which worked a couple of times!! It did!! :3 It didn't this time... I had a nightmare. A lovie.. nightmare. If that makes sense. I got stabbed in my stomach from my sides. ;_; And i am not lying, this is what really happened. I can't remember more of ...

To face ourselves. To know our mission in this life.. what we were meant to be. What is the reason behind our existence.. is it for the things in life that passes away? Is it for the glory? What will you be when you leave this life? Will you be satisfied then? Will you have any regrets? Will die smiling... while everyone around is crying? We all want to help one another. Human beings are like that. We all want to live by each other's happiness, not by each other's misery. We don't want to hate and despise one another. In this world there is room for everyone and the earth is rich and can provide for everyone. The way of life can be free and beautiful but we have lost the way...but it's not over yet. Greed has poisoned men's souls. Has barricaded the world with hate. Has goose-stepped us into misery and bloodshed. We have developed speed but we have shut ourselves in. Machinery that gives abundance has left us in want. Our knowledge has made us cynical....

I loved you! You made me, hate me! Hate, see? It saved me! And these tears are deadly! You feel that? I rip back, every time you tried to steal that! You feel bad? You feel sad? I'm sorry, hell no! Fuck that! It was my heart, it was my life, it was my start, it was your knife! This strife, it dies! This life and these lies! And these lungs have sung this song for too long! And it's true, i hurt too. remember, i LOVED YOU. --------------------------------- I wish i could've quit you! I wish i never missed you! And told you that i loved you, every time i fucked you! The future that we both drew and all the shit we've been through! Obsessed with the thought of you, the pain just grew and grew! How could you do this to me!? Look at what i made for you! It never was enough and the world is what i gave you! I used to be love struck, now i'm just fucked up! Pull up my sleeves and see the pattern of my cuts! Eh... Sorry guys. I was just looking through...