It's all because I love you

We don't talk for awhile, you're busy, I never have Internet, we can't reach each other at same times...
I lose hope, with each day it get's harder to keep a brave face. I start falling and I ask myself what's it all worth, why am I waiting this long, what will I get with this, all I'm doing is waiting and wasting my time here! I get angry at myself and at you, I wanna yell at you and scream how you're using me and how you're never gonna decide! I stop thinking about your pain, mine becomes more important and much worse!
You're not there through all of this.. I get angrier and sadder every time I see "Seen" and you didn't respond and I think you dissed me and that you don't give a shit about what was written!
I make myself believe you're not worth it, I make myself believe I'm better off without you and how I'll be just fine!
... But then you respond... I wanna start an argument and diss you forever! But then you say something sweet, you say you got an interview and my heart skips a beat. My brain goes "Oh..." and everything melts. That little bit of hope makes my heart melt.
Somehow I got my answer that you are trying and somehow everything I thought was wrong, was all understood and turned good. I've answered it all.
You're all that's worth it, I am waiting because I love and want you, I will get you if I break through, and it's not a waste, because it's you. I understand that you're in pain also, that there's no way that everything we had and everything we've went through could be a lie and that it could fade so easily. You're not like that. Your pain is just as important as mine, you're busy with work, that's why you only leave me on seen, even though it does hurt.
You are worth it because you're you, I'm NOT better off without you, I am my happiest and satisfied with you and I won't be fine completely without you.
I realize that you also need me, you will need me when you fall. I still don't understand a lot of things... I really don't. Sometimes it really does feel like you just don't want it..
But I'm trying to trust you.
Please don't break that... Don't tell me lies and don't lead me on... That will just make me kill you.

Out of love... ♡

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