Love isn't blind, it's retarded
Charlie failed at first time sex with Mia 'cause he was sober.
Mia: Charlie, listen to me. I love YOU, not your money or your car or your house or your skills in bed.
Charlie: What's left?!
Mia: Charlie...
Charlie: Come on, come on, you're saying that if I was some pencil weenie guy, living in a shack and taking the bus to my job selling oranges in the free way off ramp you'd still love me?
Mia: Yes, I would still love you.
Charlie: Okay, I understand now.
Mia: Good.
Charlie: You're insane.
Mia: Why, because I love the real you?
Charlie: No, no, because you think there is a real me.
Mia: Would you believe I loved you if my eyes had rolled back my head had blown off?
Charlie: It would be a start.
Mia: Alright, I guess we're just gonna have to try again.
Charlie: Hang on, hang on, how am I gonna know you're not faking it just to make me feel better?
Mia: Honey, if I was gonna fake it, don't you think I would've done it the first time?
Charlie: Hey, you wanna hear something amusing?
Alan: Always.
Charlie: According to my girlfriend, underneath all those superficial, cool stuff in my life there's actually a real me.
Alan: Hm, no kidding.
Charlie: Apparently he's quite a guy.
Alan: Well I'd like to meet him sometime.
Charlie: Don't hold your breath.
Alan: My girlfriend (Kandi) on the other hand has no idea who I really am, damn little desire to find out and is only interested in riding me like a wild mustang and draining me out of all bodily fluids.
Charlie: Huh. How do you feel about that?
Alan: ...I think I love her.
Charlie: You know what? Love isn't blind, it's retarded.
P.S. This is my 1000th post! Yey!
Mia: Charlie, listen to me. I love YOU, not your money or your car or your house or your skills in bed.
Charlie: What's left?!
Mia: Charlie...
Charlie: Come on, come on, you're saying that if I was some pencil weenie guy, living in a shack and taking the bus to my job selling oranges in the free way off ramp you'd still love me?
Mia: Yes, I would still love you.
Charlie: Okay, I understand now.
Mia: Good.
Charlie: You're insane.
Mia: Why, because I love the real you?
Charlie: No, no, because you think there is a real me.
Mia: Would you believe I loved you if my eyes had rolled back my head had blown off?
Charlie: It would be a start.
Mia: Alright, I guess we're just gonna have to try again.
Charlie: Hang on, hang on, how am I gonna know you're not faking it just to make me feel better?
Mia: Honey, if I was gonna fake it, don't you think I would've done it the first time?
Charlie: Hey, you wanna hear something amusing?
Alan: Always.
Charlie: According to my girlfriend, underneath all those superficial, cool stuff in my life there's actually a real me.
Alan: Hm, no kidding.
Charlie: Apparently he's quite a guy.
Alan: Well I'd like to meet him sometime.
Charlie: Don't hold your breath.
Alan: My girlfriend (Kandi) on the other hand has no idea who I really am, damn little desire to find out and is only interested in riding me like a wild mustang and draining me out of all bodily fluids.
Charlie: Huh. How do you feel about that?
Alan: ...I think I love her.
Charlie: You know what? Love isn't blind, it's retarded.
P.S. This is my 1000th post! Yey!
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