All to fucking waste!
. . .
. . .
Why?
Guys. I have been working my ass off, I have been working my goddamn ASS off for everything to be perfect, why does it have to go to waste! Oh my god...
Okay, Mike's birthday was 3 days ago and I planned WAY BEFORE IT...SO MUCH. I had all of these ideas, I was so excited, I was like 'Got this! Gonna make him so happy!', worked, filmed, wrote, edited.
Spent a lot of good nights not sleeping, just trying to teach myself how to edit videos better, had all of the clips on my phone, always backed them up, always transferred them into my computer RIGHT AWAY so I don't mess up or forget or anything, I was so careful!
Everything was going good, I was still late even though I started working before the date, but I didn't want to settle for anything less than perfection! I had so many beautiful clips of me talking, just... entire MOVIES, drawings, and me one-on-one to a video camera I finally got, telling Mike everything I have been holding for the past... YEAR. Everything I had to say for that day, many things I wanted to show him.
It was so hard and I was so nervous and I spent hours filming over and over because I am so shy and it's why It took so long. I just wanted everything to be perfect.
Everything was going great... Until idiotic me...
Ok, when I was finally done with filming everything and when I transferred all of it into my PC, I deleted all of the clips off of my camera, thinking it's a done deal and they were holding up SO much space.
It was good... I worked, there was a lot of progress... until 11:30 tonight...
I was HALF done with the 'project' and I thought I would finish it by tomorrow if I go full force on it and I started losing my concentration and got frustrated because this hasn't been the best and most relaxing day but I was so stubborn to get some work done... And I shouldn't have been...
I deleted...ALL OF MY FOOTAGE!. . . Everything... At this point, I don't know what I did, I don't remember HOW I did it, I just know that my converting was stopped and the next thing I know, everything is gone.
I started crying so bad, I am so mad at myself!! You guys have no idea how much work has been put into all of it, I was so fucking excited! My goal for every bit of work I put into it was to make Michael happy and make him smile and give him something that he can keep and oh my god...
I can't stop crying All I have left with me is some writing I did on the side, the drawings I drew but it isn't nearly enough! I feel so fucking bad, I have to mess every single thing up...
They were entire videos I put together, all kinds of things... It all, went, to fucking waste!
I feel so devastated...
. . .
Why?
Guys. I have been working my ass off, I have been working my goddamn ASS off for everything to be perfect, why does it have to go to waste! Oh my god...
Okay, Mike's birthday was 3 days ago and I planned WAY BEFORE IT...SO MUCH. I had all of these ideas, I was so excited, I was like 'Got this! Gonna make him so happy!', worked, filmed, wrote, edited.
Spent a lot of good nights not sleeping, just trying to teach myself how to edit videos better, had all of the clips on my phone, always backed them up, always transferred them into my computer RIGHT AWAY so I don't mess up or forget or anything, I was so careful!
Everything was going good, I was still late even though I started working before the date, but I didn't want to settle for anything less than perfection! I had so many beautiful clips of me talking, just... entire MOVIES, drawings, and me one-on-one to a video camera I finally got, telling Mike everything I have been holding for the past... YEAR. Everything I had to say for that day, many things I wanted to show him.
It was so hard and I was so nervous and I spent hours filming over and over because I am so shy and it's why It took so long. I just wanted everything to be perfect.
Everything was going great... Until idiotic me...
Ok, when I was finally done with filming everything and when I transferred all of it into my PC, I deleted all of the clips off of my camera, thinking it's a done deal and they were holding up SO much space.
It was good... I worked, there was a lot of progress... until 11:30 tonight...
I was HALF done with the 'project' and I thought I would finish it by tomorrow if I go full force on it and I started losing my concentration and got frustrated because this hasn't been the best and most relaxing day but I was so stubborn to get some work done... And I shouldn't have been...
I deleted...ALL OF MY FOOTAGE!. . . Everything... At this point, I don't know what I did, I don't remember HOW I did it, I just know that my converting was stopped and the next thing I know, everything is gone.
I started crying so bad, I am so mad at myself!! You guys have no idea how much work has been put into all of it, I was so fucking excited! My goal for every bit of work I put into it was to make Michael happy and make him smile and give him something that he can keep and oh my god...
I can't stop crying All I have left with me is some writing I did on the side, the drawings I drew but it isn't nearly enough! I feel so fucking bad, I have to mess every single thing up...
They were entire videos I put together, all kinds of things... It all, went, to fucking waste!
I feel so devastated...
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