Love isn't blind, it's retarded

Charlie failed at first time sex with Mia 'cause he was sober.

Mia: Charlie, listen to me. I love YOU, not your money or your car or your house or your skills in bed.
Charlie: What's left?!
Mia: Charlie...
Charlie: Come on, come on, you're saying that if I was some pencil weenie guy, living in a shack and taking the bus to my job selling oranges in the free way off ramp you'd still love me?
Mia: Yes, I would still love you.
Charlie: Okay, I understand now.
Mia: Good.
Charlie: You're insane.
Mia: Why, because I love the real you?
Charlie: No, no, because you think there is a real me.
Mia: Would you believe I loved you if my eyes had rolled back my head had blown off?
Charlie: It would be a start.
Mia: Alright, I guess we're just gonna have to try again.
Charlie: Hang on, hang on, how am I gonna know you're not faking it just to make me feel better?
Mia: Honey, if I was gonna fake it, don't you think I would've done it the first time? 

Charlie: Hey, you wanna hear something amusing?
Alan: Always.
Charlie: According to my girlfriend, underneath all those superficial, cool stuff in my life there's actually a real me.
Alan: Hm, no kidding.
Charlie: Apparently he's quite a guy.
Alan: Well I'd like to meet him sometime.
Charlie: Don't hold your breath. 
Alan: My girlfriend (Kandi) on the other hand has no idea who I really am, damn little desire to find out and is only interested in riding me like a wild mustang and draining me out of all bodily fluids.
Charlie: Huh. How do you feel about that?
Alan: ...I think I love her. 
Charlie: You know what? Love isn't blind, it's retarded. 

P.S. This is my 1000th post! Yey!  

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Selfish fool

Alan irritates me, I swear to God, I would pull a 2 feet pipe up his ass. -.- I'm talking about Alan Harper, not Jon Cryer. Alan is the most dull rat bastard. -.- Charlie: Just give me a few bucks, I have to go to the ATM Alan: When will I get it back? You're asking Charlie when will you get money back?! Inspecting the situation like you're giving up $1000 dollars, not a bullshit amount of 38 dollars. How about you ask yourself how you've been fucking living in his house for 6 years, not showing ONE % of appreciation. He whines about what MILK Berta should get, never gives a damn how much it costs, (Not that it matters but still) and you have the balls to FIGHT with Charlie, take his gas from his car so you'd get your fucking 38 dollars he owes you?! What about what he owes Charlie?! What if we were to calculate every single thing Charlie has paid for, including everything Alan does around the house that makes more expenses?! I'd LOVE to see how he'd h
Continue reading »

Obsession over K&A

Okay guys, I spent the last 7 hours watching at Kalel and Anthony's videos. I gave some Smosh videos a chance but no, I can't. The only thing I sort of find amusing is Anthony's face, and not even amusing, just handsome. :3 But yeah, I spent literally like, the last 6 hours and 40 minutes just watching and re-watching. I started with all of Kalel's old channels and vlogs and I was actually surprised the couple of channels other than WonderlandWardrobe and WULAS  (WatchUsLiveAndStuff) have so little vlogs. Maybe like 5 tops. But anyway! I first started with WULAS which doesn't really make sense because I'm actually going backwards but it's okay. I've already like watched, all of the 110 videos but I re-watched them all from the beginning and it was still so very entertaining and I still laughed at many of them. Then I crossed onto WW and It's really cool to. I'm getting used to Kalel with blueish-greenish hair, she's really cute. ^^ I re
Continue reading »